I chuckle at the line, "I deserve it."
Even more, I like the Clinton Eastwood line while he's holding the rifle barrel to Little Bill's throat: "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it."
I think they have realized they can’t afford those things - when you are living paycheck to paycheck and payment to payment, you don’t have the extra means to pay for those intangibles that life throws our way from time to time.
I think it is absolutely fair to state that you cannot financially support them but are happy to help in other ways, like you mentioned. If I found out donations to go fund me were used for monthly payments on non-essential things like boats and motorhomes I would be livid.
It’s one thing when a family is hit with hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills because of something insurance can’t cover or massive tragedies, but sounds like they should decide what’s important in life and sell some toys and put their money toward the necessities.
I feel for you, I thankfully haven’t experienced anything like that but encourage you to stick to your guns. Hopefully your family members don’t alienate you for making your own thoughtful financial decisions but if they don’t understand then they aren’t acting like family and to heck with ‘em. 😬
We frequently wonder why it seems like everyone else can afford these things, but we can't. These are somewhat helpful reminders that many of the people that have all the things, cannot actually afford all the things either. Especially if one little thing goes wrong.
My wife and I talk about this all the time. It's kind of infuriating. We see all of these people (often 15 years younger than us) buying these $600k+ new build houses in our town, while having 2 new cars in the driveway, sending their 3 kids to private school, and taking several luxury vacations a year.
Between us we make good money, yet we can't afford those things. We live on the "poor" side of our town. Our house is a 57-year old split level. Our cars are 9 and 10 years old. We don't own a boat, cabin, RV, snowmobile, or any other toys. But you know what? We paid off our mortgage this year (we're both in our late-40's). Our retirement accounts are fully funded. Our cars have been paid off for years. We're playing (and winning) the long game. I have to remind myself of that every time I wonder "what we're doing wrong" compared to all these people.
I laugh at the dealerships I bought my cars from. They have to explain to the banks why I don't have a loan record. I've had 2 loans. One in 2001 and one in 2017. They are off the books now, because I buy what I can afford. Huh. They have to look at residential (apt, 18 years, same place), job (23 years, same place).
When you tell somebody somethin', it depends on what part of the United States you're standin' in... as to just how dumb you are.
I try to refrain from envy… though I wonder how people do it. And more power to them if they can do it and still be good stewards. My wife and I try are best to be good stewards of are money. Along with tithing and going above and beyond in giving. And have the kids be apart of it as well. And see how we can bless others.
“We are blessed to be a blessing”
Keep your stick on the ice...
@gator You’re definitely blessed with common sense, some people just need this or that with hopes to fill that lack of happiness hole in their world, kinda sad really. The 70,000 dollar vehicle in a state of salt and corrosion makes no sense to me either but again whatever right? To need a go fund page and keep the fancy life is just plain messed up priorities with a lack of pride besides imo. I’m not exactly jack dawson from titanic either but I liked the way he looked at life.
Saving money in this day and age isn’t easy, I’ve spent the last couples months seeing how many days in a row I can go without spending any money, not counting whatever auto payments come thru on a given day. It seems like even then I barely save anything but my account has slowly/steadily went up. But you’re right there’s no way I’m gonna subsidize other peoples’ poor decisions nor should you be expected to.
For years prior to getting married I had a very healthy savings, Roth IRA and other investments going on. And it started to dwindle more and more in recent year. After getting married it seems so different. And I’m not blaming it on marriage and the added expenses that came with it.
Keep your stick on the ice...
Double post but whatever, this reminds me of one buddy who I go to the bar with and has a bit of a drinking problem (like he drank a 750 of vodka before going out one night). He’ll go out with a set amount of cash and pay for his drinks that way (I think $100) but he sometimes asks us to buy him a drink after he runs out, which… I don’t really get? He’s a grown man with a job. He also did this with another buddy who said no. Like you set your own budget… if you want to get more drinks you can 😂 . This was especially annoying the one night where I was mainly the one paying for the drinks of a buddy who lost his job because it was his birthday (and he bought my drinks on my birthday) and this dude asks me to buy him a drink toward the end of the night because he set (presumably the same) budget knowing this was the case and it was gonna be a more expensive night. I think I did it once or twice a while back when I felt generous but idk this behavior strikes me as kinda weird and fortunately he hasn’t done it in a while.
Saving without realizing you're saving (payroll deductions for Roth IRAs or 401Ks, employee stock purchase programs, etc.) are fantastic. Since you never see the money, it just happens automagically.
Best thing we did was living like we had one income just in case and this mindset ensured we lived well below our means for many years, Primarily it's just the way we are & we wanted to pay as much as possible for our kids education. During this time we were also able to buy lake property and pay off our house. The flip side is our home was modest but comfortable, we never bought a car with less than 60K miles on it and the pontoon at the lake......well....it came with the property and it floated. It's only recently that we've bought newer (and one new!) cars and lake toys (so YE could pretend to be a bigshot!) and moved into a different home so we are closer to our cabin (like 100 yards away!). As we near retirement we are in a good position for years to come.
Looking back I would have started working with a financial advisor sooner. We started at age 50 and were not doing anything wrong, in fact our advisors commended what we had done, but a more holistic look could have been beneficial.
“When your best friend is the son of God, you get tired of losing every argument.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
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We have gone with incurring no CC debt even for vacations for the past 10 years. When we plan a vacation or even do one on the spur ot the moment it's with the demand that it is paid off within 30 days.
We lived here with 2 vehicles until the kids moved home and then sold 1. Our current one is a middle of the road CRV that gets us what we need.
Our one sin is that we eat out a LOT. But it's so affordable here that it doesn't eat into my forced savings % Our house is nice but mid, and we bargain shop for clothes.
That said I understand the mentality of wanting to go big and we made that mistake with our 1st house. Never again.
My wife bought a low mileage used 2021 Mazda CX-5 last year. Today the low tire pressure light went on. I struggled to find the display that shows the individual pressure of each tire.
Turns out it doesn’t have one. Only has the non-specific low pressure light. Pretty surprising and disappointing for a relatively new model car.
Saving without realizing you're saving (payroll deductions for Roth IRAs or 401Ks, employee stock purchase programs, etc.) are fantastic. Since you never see the money, it just happens automagically.
One of the best lessons my dad taught me at a young age was to "pay yourself first".
In other words, make sure to sign up to have a decent size pre-tax chunk taken out of your paycheck for your 401K, etc... because if you don't "see" it, you can't spend it. Then you can decide what to do with the rest of your paycheck after that.
Fucking Ticketbastard. Been trying to get Frozen Four tix for 15 minutes now. First 10 minutes, the event wasn't available. Now it says no tickets available.
I feel your pain Viking. The whole priority sale was a 🤬 mess. I was group B and the entire floor level was showing sold. No club level seats even shown on the seating chart even though the FF email had a price listed for club. The only seats available were upper level and even there were limited. Is this another “Boston” scandal? Did Vegas hold back seats for corporate? I refuse to believe that when I logged on all those sections were already gone.Fucking Ticketbastard. Been trying to get Frozen Four tix for 15 minutes now. First 10 minutes, the event wasn't available. Now it says no tickets available.
You have to go through the link the NCAA sent you, you can not access the tickets directly through TM.
Note: Due to inflation dirty deeds will no longer be done dirt cheap.
You can bet your ass they held back tickets. Maybe not for corporate, but to give away to big gamblers. This is Vegas after all.I feel your pain Viking. The whole priority sale was a 🤬 mess. I was group B and the entire floor level was showing sold. No club level seats even shown on the seating chart even though the FF email had a price listed for club. The only seats available were upper level and even there were limited. Is this another “Boston” scandal? Did Vegas hold back seats for corporate? I refuse to believe that when I logged on all those sections were already gone.Fucking Ticketbastard. Been trying to get Frozen Four tix for 15 minutes now. First 10 minutes, the event wasn't available. Now it says no tickets available.
You have to go through the link the NCAA sent you, you can not access the tickets directly through TM.
You’re already getting tickets for Vegas in 2026? I haven’t even gotten mine for St. Louis in 2025. My priority is G and I get to choose a Monday the 21st.
My main issue was the nearly 2 hour waitlist I was on Wednesday morning. But, I suspect people are mixing up this coming Frozen 4 due to all the Vegas talk, maybe?You’re already getting tickets for Vegas in 2026? I haven’t even gotten mine for St. Louis in 2025. My priority is G and I get to choose a Monday the 21st.
B1G refs... corrupt, or just incompetent?
That was a mistype…Vegas on my mind lol. St Louis it is. But I find it very hard to believe tickets on the main level are gone. Oh, there’s still on the glass, at $700 a pop!You’re already getting tickets for Vegas in 2026? I haven’t even gotten mine for St. Louis in 2025. My priority is G and I get to choose a Monday the 21st.
Note: Due to inflation dirty deeds will no longer be done dirt cheap.
That was a mistype…Vegas on my mind lol. St Louis it is. But I find it very hard to believe tickets on the main level are gone. Oh, there’s still on the glass, at $700 a pop!You’re already getting tickets for Vegas in 2026? I haven’t even gotten mine for St. Louis in 2025. My priority is G and I get to choose a Monday the 21st.
I’ll let you all know how many are available next week when I get a shot. Even with my status, I’ve been able to get club level the last handful of years. Sounds like I’ll be upper deck.
I was in the waiting line for an hour on Weds. I gave up and tried at night and got right in. There were quite a few tix left when I ordered last week.
I'm 50% factual and 50% sarcastic. When you get to know me, you will know which is which.